"You mind just getting this over with, 'cause I really can't stand the monologue-ing."

Season finale of Supernatural... Man, that's an exhausting 40-something minutes of television. So intense! The poor boys! The Metallicar! Trauma! Angst!

Sometimes it's good to leave an episode feeling like you just got punched in the gut....

The last episode was divided into two – John's story and the boys' story, inter-cutting back and fore between the two as the action unfolded, fast-paced and furious. This one is told completely from the boys' point of view, with a very tight, intense feel to it.

Another fab musical intro. Triumph's Fight the Good Fight, this time.

We open exactly where Salvation left off – Meg answering John's phone. And I'm instantly all a-quiver for the boys – just…the looks on their faces, so distressed. Dean looks so lost, trying to think, to take charge, to decide what to do, with the stakes the highest they've ever been. He's the one that's always expected to take the lead and know what to do, and the weight of it all just overwhelms him at times and Jensen absolutely nails that. He's a heck of a lot more clear-headed than Sam, though. Sam is belligerent and confrontational, all 'bring it on': wanting to let the demon come and get them so they can take it out in a blaze of glory or whatever; Dean, however, can see that their best course of action is to retreat and re-group, as fast as possible, and isn't that just a total reversal of the roles laid out for them in episode one?

DEAN: "We're not ready. We don't know how many of them are out there. We're no good to anybody dead. We're leaving. Now."

And I sure as hell wouldn't argue with him just at that moment.

On the road, and Sam's got that mulish look on his face again.

SAM: "I'm telling you, Dean, we could have taken him."
Yeah, because shooting at it worked so well in that house.
DEAN: "What we need is a plan."

The demon having John just…it takes everything up a notch. The boys are on their own against it now, which is not something any of them ever expected. This was John's fight that they were raised to follow along with, and now the tables have been turned with John's capture it's all up to them.

SAM: "We still have the Colt. We can still finish the job."
DEAN: "Screw the job."
SAM: "Dean, I'm just traying to do what he would want."

Role reversal again – since when does Sam ever want to do what John would want? Sam seems fairly resigned to the fact that John is probably dead already. Dean isn't prepared to give up on his father, refuses to believe it, not prepared to lose any more of his family to this thing. Dean is all about denial. And he's got a point – revenge isn't worth the price if you lose everything you have in pursuit of it. We've also seen this particular pattern before with the boys – Dean tends toward optimism and likes to hope for the best; Sam tends toward pessimism and frequently leans toward fearing or expecting the worst.

DEAN: "Everything stops until we get him back, you understand me? Everything."

They agree that they need help, and go to another of John's old friends, Bobby. I'm pretty sure that this is a friend we really hadn't actually heard of before, not even a little bit. Kind of a shame they already killed off Caleb and Pastor Jim. The establishing shot of Bobby's house is lengthy and interesting in its detail, but ultimately doesn't tell us much,.

Bobby, it seems, is another friend John has had a falling out with – this time, apparently, a pretty bad falling out. There's something of a pattern forming regarding John and his friends.

DEAN: "Last time we saw you, you did threaten to blast him full of buckshot, got the shotgun and everything."
BOBBY: "Yeah, well, what can I say? John just has that effect on people."

Heh. I can completely see his point – John really does rub people up the wrong way. Even Dean has to agree with that.

But Bobby is absolutely going to do everything he can to help them get him back, regardless. I'm warming to Bobby instantly. There's just something…hugely appealing about this little network of highly eccentric contacts John, and the boys, by default, seem to have scattered around the land. They may – and clearly do – fall out, but they share a powerful secret that bonds them tight, and come through for one another in a pinch because some things are more important than petty squabbles. That's the impression that comes across loud and clear.

Sam, being the bookworm of the family, geeks out over Bobby's personal library, practically salivating over one old text in particular that seems to be chock full of useful tips and hints for demon-catching.

BOBBY: "Key of Solomon – it's the real deal, all right."
SAM: "And these protective circles, they really work?"
BOBBY: "Hell, yeah. You get a demon in one, they're trapped, powerless. It's like a satanic roach motel."

Yup, very useful to know. Bobby also cautions the boys about just how serious the situation is, just in case they hadn't already noticed. In a normal year, he explains, he might hear of maybe three or four demonic possessions. This year there's been 27 and counting.

BOBBY: "More and more demons are walking among us. A lot more."
SAM: "Do you know why?"
BOBBY: "No. But I know it's something big. A storm's coming, and you boys – your daddy – you are smack in the middle of it."

But, no pressure. Way to build the boys' confidence there, Bobby.

Bobby's dog barks a warning, but by the time he's got to the window to have a look, the dog has vanished completely. We aren't told what happened to it, but are left to fear the worst. Poor doggy.

And then Meg kicks in the door.

If it's that easy for The Demon and his cohorts to find people, what's it been pussy-footing around all season for? What was with the elaborate trap set for John in Shadow? Games and riddles, and it could be a long time before we – or the boys – gain any answers.

Dean strides toward Meg, all determination, teeny weeny little bottle of holy water in hand, and she just casually swipes him aside with her demon power. He goes crashing into the wall, because no episode can be allowed to go by without Dean being thrown into a wall, and a stack of books crashes down on top of him, and he's still.

So Sam quickly thrusts Bobby behind him, which is really sweet and dashing of him. Although, if this Bobby is a friend of John and an expert on demonology, I'm guessing he should know at least something about taking care of himself in dicey situations – at least as much as the boys. It's the thought that counts, though. Meg wants the Colt, and while she's demanding it they're backing away, and backing away, and she follows, all pissy about wanting the gun.

MEG: "I mean, did you really think I wouldn't find you?"
DEAN: "Actually, we were counting on it."

I'm gratified that when Dean appears behind Meg he looks kind of stiff and sore, having just peeled himself off the floor after that heavy fall. Gratified because I like a bit of realism in my TV, even in fantasy TV of this nature, so when a character gets thrown into a wall that hard, it's nice to see a bit of follow-through. So, Dean looks a little sore, but he's got his game face firmly in place, giving her his absolute best death glare, with just a hint of a smirk as he glances up at the ceiling. Where the symbol previously seen in the Solomon's Key is painted. Meg is trapped.

DEAN: "Gotcha."

This, presumably, is that plan they've come up with. When did that happen? Did they pick Bobby randomly because he was the closest and he just happened to have that painted on his ceiling all handy like? Did they know it was there, in which case why did he need to explain it to them? What? Because I'm not convinced they had time to paint it since they arrived, seeing as they're giving the impression they only just got there themselves...

Post blink-and-you-miss-'em credits, Meg is tied to a chair. How'd they manage that? Trapped in the circle she might be, but she still has her demonic strength, presumably. Or does the circle cancel that out, too? While Meg cracks the inevitable bondage jokes, Bobby busily salts all the doors and windows so that no more demons can get in. And then Dean gets on with the interrogating, trying to find out from Meg where John is. That's all he cares about right now.

DEAN: "Where's our father, Meg?"
MEG: "You didn't ask very nice."
DEAN: "Where's our father, bitch?"
MEG: "Jeez. You kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh, I forgot – you don't."

Meg is as cool as a cucumber, sly and taunting, and claiming to have killed John, and Dean is just…made of rage. Words fail me. Where the hell does Jensen channel all that anger?

Then Bobby tosses something of a spanner in the works, hauling the boys into the other room for a quiet word. And I love that as they walk, Sam mutters a quiet "Are you okay?" to Dean, who clearly isn't okay. Dean vehemently denies that John is dead, refuses to so much as accept the possibility. They've completely flipped positions since they left Salvation. There, Sam was boiling over with rage while Dean kept his in check and maintained a level head. Here, Dean is just so, so angry, he's practically got steam coming out of his ears, while Sam is very quiet and looks kind of...lost, uncertain. Scared, even. Automatically looking to Dean to take the lead on this, and worrying about what he sees.

Bobby says they shouldn't hurt Meg because she really is just a girl – she's possessed by a demon, but there's an innocent girl inside. He seems to think they should be able to tell, and maybe they should – after all, we saw them dealing with the plane crash demon in Phantom Traveler. But, as Dean pointed out then, demons aren't really their usual gig.

Dean gives Meg this look, thinking real fast, and decides the demon possession rather than incarnation is good news. A human being possessed by a demon can be exorcised, and then tell them what they need to know.

Sam, obviously, is the one who gets to read all the fancy Latin to perform the actual exorcism: again, a DIY version for demon-hunting professionals rather than calling in the local priest, the same exorcism that Sam performed in Phantom Traveller, read then as now from John's journal. He's still got that slightly spooked look in his eyes. Kid brother scared. This is large, family-shatteringly huge, and the only way out of it is to carry on through to the end.

MEG: "I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna rip the bones from your body."
DEAN: "No. You're gonna burn in hell. Unless you tell us where our dad is. [Meg smirks, says nothing] Well, at least you'll get a nice tan."

While Sam recites, rather nervously – and you've got to feel for Jared having to pronounce all that Latin and act at the same time – Dean continues to stalk around Meg with cold fury in his eyes, demanding to know where John is. Meg, shaking and shuddering as the exorcism starts to take effect, continues to claim that John is dead, that she killed him, that he begged for his life with tears in his eyes. She knows exactly which buttons to press.

DEAN: "For your sake, I hope you're lying. 'Cause if it's true, I swear to God I will march into hell myself and I will slaughter each and every one of you evil sons of bitches."

The way Dean threatens Meg out of fear for his father's life, he completely gets the revenge drive John and Sam are on. He always has, he just prioritises differently. And, as the scene wears on, Dean himself seems to be a large part of the reason Sam is so nervous. Sam is not used to seeing his brother this angry, this emotional. Dean is usually as solid as a rock, internalising everything and burying it deep, but now he's letting all that pain and anger out and falling apart without actually falling apart, and it's kind of freaking Sam out.

Rageful!Dean is scary.

It also strikes me that Jensen looks pretty tired – shadows very visible under the eyes in this scene. They're working this boy too hard!

DEAN: "Where is he?"
MEG: "You just won't take dead for an answer, will you?"
DEAN: "Where is he?"
MEG: "Dead."
DEAN: "No, he's not! He is not dead, he can't be!"

Meg keeps insisting that John is dead, and Dean's screaming at her that he can't be, and his denial is just heartbreaking. And Sam keeps stopping his Latin recital to stare at his brother, all worried and hesitant, which just gets Dean even more worked up. The exorcism goes on for a heck of a long time, and it's just so intense and so well done. Meg, in pain, slowly starts to crack and finally admits that John is still alive.

MEG: He's not dead. But he will be, after what we do to him."
DEAN: "How do we know you're telling the truth?"
MEG: "You don't."

Ah, such a clichéd question and answer, but clichés exist for a reason.

All defeated and suddenly vulnerable, Meg tells them John is in Jefferson City, Missouri, and swears she knows no more than that. So then Dean tells Sam to finish the exorcism.

MEG: "I told you the truth!"
DEAN: "I don't care."
MEG: "You son of a bitch, you promised."
DEAN: "I lied."

Except – when did he ever tell her he wouldn't finish the exorcism if she cooperated? I never heard him promise to spare her life. Dean can be very, very ruthless where his family is concerned. Plus, he wants the girl Meg released from the demon. But then Bobby weighs in once more. Meg fell from a building – and also got shot, but the boys don't know that – which means her body is broken and the demon inside is the only thing keeping her alive. Exorcise the demon, and she dies.

Dean remains determined. Die as a human or live as a demon – from his point of view, there's still no choice, and I tend to agree with him, although both Bobby and Sam still keep casting worried and fearful glances in his direction, kind of like you might look at a man teetering on the edge of a cliff or very tall building.

DEAN: "Listen to me, both of you, we are not going to leave her like that."
BOBBY: "She is a human being."
DEAN: "And we're going to put her out of her misery. Sam, finish it."

This is Dean at his most scarily intense, the side of him that most resembles his father. And Sam obeys the command, finishes the exorcism. The demon comes streaming out of Meg in a cloud of black dust, which is sucked into the symbol on the ceiling and burnt up – without damaging Bobby's ceiling, either, which is a neat trick.

I find myself wondering how the demon manages this possession – does it have lots of lesser demons to put inside people? Or does it somehow split a part of itself off whenever it takes over someone new?

Exorcism complete, and Meg is somehow still alive, but bleeding, dying. Hearing her blood dripping onto the floor is very creepy. Dean instantly snaps out of 'scarily intense' straight into 'compassionate, caring and in control', snapping out orders for Bobby to call 911, fetch blankets and water, and so on. Not that any of that is likely to do her any good at this stage, but they get points for at least trying to make her more comfortable.

"Thank you," Meg whispers as the boys untie her and very gently lay her down, and I'm glad because she just vindicated Dean's decision to finish this for her. And...the boys are both so tender with her now, after everything. Completely separating this human Meg from the demon that had previously been controlling her, using her body for its own purposes for a whole year, she tells them.

Dean, however, is still slightly more focused and considerably more ruthless than Sam.

DEAN: "Was it telling us the truth about our dad?"
SAM [slightly shocked]: "Dean."
DEAN: "We need to know."

Yes, Meg whispers, but the demon had wanted them to know – wanted them to go for him. None of that matters to Dean, as long as John is alive.

Sam now catches up with Dean in the focus stakes and joins in the questioning he'd considered so insensitive just a moment earlier, asking about the demon they are looking for, while Dean asks if she knows more details about where John is being held. Meg manages to choke out a partial address before succumbing to her injuries, leaving Bobby with a dead girl lying on his floor. Such are the perils of this line of work. He tells the boys to clear out before the paramedics arrive.

DEAN: "What are you going to tell them?"
BOBBY: "You guys think you invented lying to the cops? I'll figure something out."

This was kind of a much bigger day than Bobby probably expected when he got up that morning.

Bobby gives Sam the book he'd been looking at earlier, the Solomon's Key. I'm guessing there's also information in there they could have used in countless other hunts throughout the year, although if they had with it them, Bobby wouldn't have had it for whatever it is that he does – not everyone can have access to every book that they need. This is something that always struck me in BtVS and AtS as well – all those rare volumes they used for their research, one-of-a-kinds. What if the wrong person had one of those rare volumes, so that the people who actually needed it couldn't find the information they needed to save the world…?

So, off they go. The next scene sees them in the middle of nowhere. Sam is still pouring over Bobby's book while twirling a white pencil in his fingers and I can't help wondering why he'd even have a white pencil, while Dean sorts through his gun collection, cleaning and loading, keeping busy, preparing for whatever is to come.

SAM: "You've been quiet."
DEAN: "Just getting ready."
SAM: "He's going to be fine, Dean."

Role reversal once more – it is usually Dean reading between the lines and telling Sam what he needs to hear to reassure him, and here we have the reverse. It's Sam's turn to eye his brother worriedly and offer words of comfort whether he actually believes them or not. Dean doesn't respond.

Tthen Sam turns another page, something on it catches his eye, and he starts drawing on the Impala! Dean's reaction is just priceless – in the midst of all this deep, dark tension and angst, he's just appalled that his brother would draw on his beloved car, and even tries to rub it off. But apparently this is indelible white pencil and I still don't know why Sam had it in the first place other than to draw on the car, which he didn't know he was going to want to do.

DEAN: "What are you drawing on my car?"
SAM: "It's called a Devil's Trap. Demons can't get through it or inside it."
DEAN: "So?"
SAM: "Basically turns the trunk into a lock box."
DEAN: "So?"
SAM: "So, we have a place to hide the Colt while we go get Dad."

But Dean doesn't agree with that anyway – he wants to take the Colt with them. And here again we see the boys approaching their situation from completely different angles. With only three bullets left, Sam's concern is that they have to be saved for The Demon, not just any demon – they can't risk taking it with them. Dean, on the other hand, is more concerned with using whatever leverage they have to get John back, The Demon and their chances of killing it coming a poor second place.

SAM: "Dean, he wouldn't want us to bring the gun."
DEAN: "I don't care! Sam, I don't care what Dad wants, okay? And since when do you care what Dad wants?"
SAM: "We want to kill this demon. You used to want that, too. Hell, I mean, you're the one that came and got me at school. You're the one who dragged me back into this, Dean. I'm just trying to finish it."

Dean went and fetched Sam from school, that's true. But that isn't why Sam returned to this life. He didn't come back for Dean, or for John – he came back because of Jessica. And they both have valid points here, but...

Dean can't speak for a moment, and then he gives this wry little smile that Sam totally can't fathom.

DEAN: "Well, you and Dad are a lot more alike than I thought, you know that? You both can't wait to sacrifice yourself for this thing, but you know what? I'm gonna be the one to bury you."

That's his greatest fear: seeing more of his family die. It's the reason he's always stayed.

DEAN: "You're selfish, you know that? You don't care about anything but revenge."
SAM: "That's not true, Dean."

Except that just lately it really is – Sam has been as obsessed with The Demon as John ever since they got on its trail.

SAM: "I want Dad back, but they are expecting us to bring this gun. They get the gun; they will kill us all. That Colt is our only leverage and you know it, Dean. We cannot bring that gun."

Dean agrees to leave the gun in the car, safely secured behind the Devil's Trap symbols Sam has so carefully drawn. But he doesn't look happy about it. Dean can pull the mulish face, too.

Sheer, random chance allows them to join the dots of the partial address Meg gave them and find the actual apartment building where John is being held. An apartment building full of people – young and old, men women, and children – and the demon could be possessing any one of them, could use any one of them to attack the boys, who can't kill them because they are innocent human beings. A building full of human shields. So how do they get in?

Pull the fire alarm, Dean decides – get the civilians out, so that anyone left inside they'll know is a threat.

Sam gets the call on the 'pull the fire alarm' job, and could he look shiftier while so doing? Sam really isn't good at furtive. He's a more of a 'cards on the table' kind of guy. Upstairs, on hearing the alarm, a creepy couple exchange meaningful looks and Mr Creepy goes into another room, to check on the unconscious John, all spread-eagled and tied to the bed. It all looks kind of kinky, in fact.

Dean distracts a firefighter in highly amusing fashion that is far more convincing than Sam's attempt at furtive.

DEAN: "I've got a yorkie upstairs and he pees when he's nervous..."

LOL

While Dean thus draws attention, Sam – still all furtive and shifty-looking – is able to sneak past and steal them a couple of spare firefighter outfits. Because every rig carries spare uniforms, apparently. Dressed up in full firefighter gear, feature-disguising breathing masks and all, the boys make it inside the building and start scanning around with the EMF for signs of demonic presence.

DEAN: "I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up."
SAM: "You never told me that."

Whether he's serious about the fireman thing or not, I think there's a lot of things about Dean that Sam doesn't really know or understand, or never thought to ask about.

It doesn't take them long to find the right apartment, where they are confronted with Mr and Mrs Demonically-Possessed Creepy. They're carrying fire extinguishers filled with holy water, which amuses me no end. Did they DIY them on the spot, or bring the holy water ready-made? Anyway, Mr and Mrs Creepy are swiftly locked into a closet and secured within by judicious application of rock salt around the door.

Then...oh my. Be still my heart. The boys start stripping. But only out of their purloined firefighting gear, alas – they are fully clad beneath.

They find John, still unconscious and tied to the bed. Dean instantly goes to free him, and it is Sam's turn to provide the voice of caution. He could be possessed – they have to check. This means liberal applications of holy water, which has absolutely no effect beyond waking a very bemused and befuddled John. Holy water worked on Meg and her companion, we remember, although the hallowed ground of a Church didn't. The rules seem very fuzzy. They've been drugging him, John says, and immediately asks after the Colt.

SAM: "It's safe."
JOHN. "Good boys. Good boys."

Praise from John is a rare animal, and here he is just giving it to them. This is an important point to note.

Outside, some random man in the crowd of gawkers gets possessed and tries to re-enter the building. A firefighter who attempts to stop him is likewise possessed and follows him in. Why even bother with the random man from the crowd? Going for firefighters from the start would make more sense, since no one's going to stop them entering.

And my question about how the possession works comes back into play now. In Phantom Traveler we learned that demons can't just possess anyone, that there has to be a chink in the armour for it to find a way in. So how easy is it for The Demon to possess people like this? Does it create whole new demons in the process? Does it divide off parts of itself? If so, how infinitely can it continue to do so? Does it have a supply of demons just hanging around waiting to be given a person to take control of, or skipping from one to another? I want to know!

The boys are on their way out of the apartment with John when these new unwelcome guests arrive, forcing them to retreat. Salt around the door provides them with protection, but also traps them. And I like that Sam is in the role of protector again here, telling Dean to go ahead with John while he covers the rear – it's usually the other way around. Dean covering Sam's retreat is almost always the standard practice. This episode is all about role reversal.

They escape out the window and down the fire escape, which the still groggy John only barely manages. But then any further getaway is prevented by Meg's nameless Demonic Buddy of the last episode, who sideswipes Sam and starts battering him. Dean has to put John down to weigh into the fight, delivering a kick to the face that has absolutely no impact at all. And then the guy just tosses him aside without even laying a finger on him. He lands heavily on a car. Because Dean never just gets tossed – he always gets tossed into something. It's like a rule. Demon Guy then continues to mercilessly batter Sam, who is completely unable to fight back and proceeds to be beaten to a bloody pulp.

If Sam and his abilities are what The Demon is after, what is the point of this attack? Why try to kill him now?

But…POW! Dean shoots Demon Guy through the head with the Colt, which he didn't leave safely locked inside the Devil's Trap after all. Which we all could have guessed. Another bullet down. Because, for Dean, protecting his family wins hands down over the prospect of killing The Demon.

Dean hauls Sam to his feet, taking a moment to stare at the cooling corpse of the guy he just shot, and then, still supporting Sam, hurries over to peel John back off the floor too. He now has the problem of having two very groggy guys on his hands, neither of them what you'd call insubstantial, at the same time as needing to make a very speedy getaway.

Somehow they manage, and get back to the Impala, and drive, finally holing up in some random, remote little cabin in the absolute middle of nowhere. How much protection they think this might afford them, I don't know. Meg has already demonstrated The Demon's ability to find them just about anywhere. She had no clues to lead her to them at Bobby's.

Sam, who is just so impressively battered and bruised, salts the windows and doors. It seems to be his main job so far today, and I have to wonder just how bottomless their supplies of salt must be to withstand all this heavy use.

With John resting, Sam and Dean are alone to take stock, to try to figure out what to do next, and talk. They may find it uncomfortable, but some things need to be said.

SAM: "Hey, Dean. You, um, you saved my life back there."
DEAN: "So, I guess you're glad I brought the gun, huh?"
SAM: "Man, I'm trying to thank you, here."
DEAN: "You're welcome."

I'm so glad Sam didn't let Dean play his usual trick of brushing it all off. Here and now, they're past that. And we have evidence that Dean can accept gratitude graciously when it comes down to it. Then, since they're on a bit of a roll here, Dean allows the deep and meaningful to continue.

DEAN: "You know that guy I shot? There was a person in there."
SAM: "You didn't have a choice, Dean."

But Dean isn't looking for absolution here. That's not what this is about.

DEAN: "Yeah, I know, that's not what bothers me."
SAM: "Then what does?"

Because he so obviously is bothered about something, and I'm happy that Sam notices that and presses him on it because he might have let it ride earlier in the season. Being bothered here and now is only to be expected – for Dean, who was so upset in Faith about someone dying in his place, taking a human life is a big thing. I wouldn't really expect him to beat himself up over it too much, because he's sensible enough to know when the options have run out, but still. He needs for once to share a little of what he's feeling, just to have it out in the open and not bottled up inside.

DEAN: "Killing that guy, killing Meg, I didn't hesitate, I didn't even flinch. For you or dad, the things I'm willing to do or kill, it just, uh – it scares me sometimes."

Someone please give the boy a hug! He still isn't looking for any kind of validation or reassurance here, he's just getting it off his chest because this has been a hell of a day and it's all been a tremendously heavy load to bear.

Then John appears. "It shouldn't. You did good."

And you can just see in Dean's eyes how startled he is to hear that. Completely thrown, completely not expecting praise.

DEAN: "You're not mad?"
JOHN: "For what?"
DEAN: "Used a bullet."
JOHN: "No, I'm proud of you. Sam and I, we can get pretty obsessed. But you, you watch out for this family, you always have."
DEAN: "Thanks."

But Dean still looks like he's waiting for the other shoe to drop – this is not what he expects from his father, and how sad is that.

Then the lights start to flicker and the wind whips up, signs of The Demon, and John sends Sam off to check the salt defences. Which, of course, leaves John alone with Dean, and he instantly asks for the gun. Dean points out that Sam shooting at the demon in Salvation had no effect, but John doesn't care and insists on being given the gun, and Dean...

You can see the penny drop. You can see it in his eyes. He already suspected, but didn't want to believe, and it just kills me that John offering him approval is what set the alarm bells off, and I'm so angry with John for that.

DEAN: "He'd be furious that I wasted a bullet. He wouldn't be proud of me, he'd tear me a new one."

He points the gun at John, all "you're not my dad," and the look in his eyes kills me all over again.

"I know my dad better than anyone," says Dean, and that is absolutely true – there isn't a living soul that knows John better, not even Sam. "And you ain't him."

Then Sam returns. His jaw drops open on finding his brother pointing a gun at his dad, and they each present their case for the prosecution.

JOHN: "Your brother's lost his mind." Yeah, very convincing.
DEAN: "He's not Dad."
SAM: "What?"

So now Sam is the one caught in the middle with a choice to be made about whose side he's on, who he believes. But it's Dean he questions further and looks to for answers and elaboration, right from the start, not John. Like he already knows which way he's going to choose but just wants to be sure. I like that.

DEAN: "I think he's possessed. I think he's been possessed since we rescued him."
JOHN: "Don't listen to him, Sammy."
SAM [ignoring John completely]: "Dean, how do you know?"
DEAN: "He's just...he's different."

And Dean would know, better than anyone. Sam knows that. It is written all over Dean's face how much this is hurting him, and John is different, and Dean is still Dean. And maybe Sam, too, noticed the difference – he looked as startled as Dean at John's words earlier. So Sam chooses Dean, moves to stand at his brother's side – slightly behind him, actually, because Dean always stands between Sam and anything dangerous if he possibly can, making that a symbolic thing here – against their father. These boys have come a long, long way in one season.

JOHN: "Fine. You're both so sure? Go ahead. Kill me."

Long pause, as Dean's resolve wavers – Dean, of all people, is just never going to be able to bring himself to shoot his father. And that hesitation gives the demon his chance to strike. POW! Both boys fly backward to be pinned to separate walls like butterflies. The gun crashes to the floor. Cue lots of grunting and struggling, while Demon!John taunts and berates, because he isn't just possessed by any old demon – this is The Demon itself. Hence the non-functioning of the holy water, apparently. And his eyes are orange, not black, to signify that this is the Daddy Demon, not just a mere underling.

DEMON!JOHN [re: the Colt]: "What a pain in the ass this thing's been."

Why is he so concerned about the gun? There are only two bullets left – all he has to do it fire them into the wall and the gun is rendered completely useless. It really isn't such a fearful thing as made out.

Sam is just about beside himself at having this thing before him at last and being completely incapable of achieving that revenge he's dreamed of for so long.

SAM: "I'm going to kill you!" And, given his situation, that's kind of an empty threat so you can't really blame The Demon for calling him on it.
DEMON!JOHN: "Oh, that'd be a neat trick. In fact, here – make the gun float to you there, psychic boy."

Psychic boy. Hee. Sorry, Sam, but that is funny.

Sam can't make the gun move, not even a twitch. And Demon!John is enjoying himself immensely, having them at his mercy like this instead of killing them from afar, which he could have done, very easily, he insists. I'm pretty sure he could have, too. But he doesn't seem to like killing from a distance. He likes to be up close and personal.

DEMON!JOHN: "Your dad? He's inside here with me, trapped inside his own meat suit. He says hi, by the way. He's gonna tear you apart. He's gonna taste the iron in your blood."

It's Dean he's addressing now, which makes sense. The attacks have always been centred around Sam, suggesting that there's something about Sam that The Demon wants, so killing him at this stage wouldn't accomplish much – although it does beg the question of why Nameless Demon Guy attacked Sam earlier. But Dean is completely expendable, and completely in the way, not to mention the strongest influence in Sam's life at the moment.

And Dean is still more concerned about freeing his dad. Because...Dean never really thinks about Dean.

Demon!John claims that Meg and the guy Dean shot were his children, which adds a whole new twist to that 'how do the possessions work?' conundrum. And he's not best pleased about Dean killing them, although judging by the number of people we've seen get possessed, he's got plenty to spare. Does he consider every possessed person his child? What kind of concept of family can a demon have, anyway?

DEMON!JOHN: "How would you feel if I killed your family?"

No reply, but oh, the silent emoting from both boys, the gritting of teeth and the twitching of facial muscles and the glints in the eyes. Marvellous.

DEMON!JOHN [vicious]: "Oh. That's right. I forgot. I did."

Then Sam draws The Demon's attention away from Dean with a furious question. "I want to know why." And so does the audience – we all want to know why, what the hell this has all been about.

Sam had been planning to ask Jess to marry him, says The Demon, in that evil monologue fashion that true bad guys are so fond of, been shopping for rings and everything. How the hell does he know that? That kind of stalker-ism, the idea that he can know that much detail about someone's life without them knowing...it just raises the creep factor so much. He killed Mary and Jessica because they got in the way, he says. Got in the way of his plans for Sam, and for the other children like him. Children who possess some degree of psychic tendency, presumably, although he doesn't elaborate, and we are left with still more unanswered questions. The makers of this show are in no rush to reveal their over-arching mythology.

DEAN: "You mind just getting this over with, huh? 'Cause I really can't stand the monologue-ing."

Typical Dean, drawing the attention of The Demon away from Sam and toward himself. He can't not protect Sam, no matter what the cost to himself. Like I said, Dean never really thinks about Dean – his father and brother will always, always come first.

DEMON!JOHN: "Funny. But that's all part of your MO, isn't it? Masks all that nasty pain. Masks the truth.…You know, you fight and you fight for this family, but the truth is, they don't need you. Not like you need them. Sam, he's clearly John's favourite. Even when they fight it's more concern than he's ever shown you."

And that's heartbreaking because it's so true. John does treat his sons differently, and always has – we've seen that throughout the series. While Sam was the baby, to be cosseted and protected, and was therefore able to rebel and thus draw paternal attention and concern in his direction, Dean was relied on too much too soon, his steadiness taken for granted from a very young age. And the trouble with being dependable is that the people around you tend to forget that you have needs too.

John's obsession with revenge allows him to be self-sufficient, and Sam's fierce desire for independence (and, these days, also for revenge) allows him to be self-sufficient, but Dean just isn't selfish enough for that kind of self-sufficiency and he's too worried about the two of them to put himself first. If they need him, he's there, no hesitation and no questions. He's just so broken, in that sense, and none of the people around him ever seem to notice that. Except that Sam looks like he's noticing it now.

The Demon knows his stuff – know exactly which buttons to press, where to stick the knife for maximum effect. Dean just sucks it all up, which is how he always deals with pain, and channels that anger and pain right back at it.

DEAN: "I bet you're real proud of your kids, too. Oh wait, I forgot. I wasted 'em."

The look in his eyes says he knows there's no way out of this, knows how this is going to end. Sam looks afraid. And Demon!John with his glowy yellow demon eyes gets this look, just furious, and takes a step back and bends his head as if in prayer.…

And then this really grisly sound effect kicks in, with heart-beat to boot, and Dean sort of gasps and cries out in agony, and we remember what the demon did to Mary and Jess, and to Monica in Sam's vision – stomach sliced open, killed very quickly and cleanly. This isn't like that, and I don't know what the heck it is doing to Dean, exactly, but it's agonising and slow, and Sam's hollering frantically in the background, Dean's got blood pouring down his chest from God knows where, and The Demon is enjoying himself.

DEAN: "Dad! Dad, don't you let him kill me!"

He keeps looking down at himself in horror at all the blood, and Sam is still hollering and completely unable to get the gun to so much as twitch, no matter how hard he tries. So Dean being in immediate danger isn't as much of a trigger as it seemed in Nightmare, unless the demon's presence somehow dampens his abilities, which is entirely possible.

"Dad, please," Dean implores. It's no more than a whisper, and he's bleeding from the mouth now, which can't possibly be good.

John is possessed by The Demon, completely unable to help his son, yet Dean – completely believing that he's about to die – still has enough faith to appeal to him. The faith Dean has in his Dad is a very consistent character trait. Then he passes out, still pinned to the wall, still bleeding, and somehow that plaintive little plea actually works. Those glowing demon eyes become brown and human once more, just for a moment. It's long enough.

"Stop," John almost sobs. "Stop it."

John somehow manages to break through The Demon's hold on him, just enough. And then all of a sudden Sam is free, and dives for the gun, and suddenly there's a very familiar ring to this story. Every culture in the world has this kind of tale in its narrative tradition – a voyage of discovery, if you like. An Imram. Rites of passage. A young man plucked from his life and sent on a perilous journey during which he must discover his true self or attain manhood, or something like that. There are thousands of different ways in which this story can be and is told, scattered throughout legend and mythology, but they all end in pretty much the same way: at the end of his journey the young man has his support systems stripped away and finds himself all alone, facing his nemesis with his finger on the button, so to speak, big decisions in his hands, his alone to make.

And that's where Sam finds himself now. Dean is out of play, John is out of play, and little Sammy that they tried so hard to protect is the one left standing, facing The Demon with the gun in his hands and a huge decision to make.

DEMON!JOHN: "Kill me, you kill daddy."
SAM: "I know."

So he shoots Demon!John in the leg, instead, which is just wonderfully clear-headed of him. Shoot to wound, not to kill. And, with a crackle of demonic energy around the wound, John's leg gives way and he crumples to the floor, and I'm so impressed by the fine detail, although somewhat hazy about the properties of this magical gun.

Released at last, Dean also collapses, like a puppet with its strings cut. He hits the floor hard, and gives this kind of strangled wheeze which is very worrying. Sam clearly thinks so too, as he races to his brother's side, John and The Demon forgotten for the moment, and tries to scope out the damage, which is easier said than done since Dean's got his arms curled all protectively around his torso, still quivering with pain.

It's very ironic that, since Dean was the one who didn't think revenge was worth dying for, he's the one that ends up half-dead as a result of his family's pursuit of it. Those prepared to hurl themselves into a volcano don't always notice who they are dragging into the inferno with them until it is too late.

SAM: "Dean? Dean, hey. Oh God, you lost a lot of blood."
DEAN: "Where's Dad?"
He sounds wheezy, half choking on his own blood, and Sam responds in much the same tone you'd use to soothe a distressed five year old.
SAM: "He's right here. He's right here, Dean."
DEAN [very faint]: "Go check on him."

Sam does as he's told and goes to check on John, I think mostly because he wouldn't dare deny Dean anything he asked just then. And yet asking Sam to check on John might not just be about Dean's automatic concern for his family; it's possible he's actually being very clear-headed about their situation. John was possessed – they urgently need to know if the shot has freed him or not, if they are still in danger.

John comes to with a start, and starts hollering at Sam to shoot him in the heart, because The Demon is still alive and still inside him, and he's trying to hold on to it and stop it escaping and with just one bullet left shooting him dead is the only way to guarantee that they finish it, once and for all. And if he's having to hold onto The Demon, that means it is trying to escape – it is wounded and presumably believes that Sam is completely capable of finishing it off.

But what the hell kind of father asks his son to kill him like that? I mean, does he really not see what his obsession with revenge has done to his sons? Is be blind? Is he insane? Does he just not care? Does he not care what his death at Sam's hand would do to them both? Just how much is he prepared to justify to himself in the name of revenge?

"Sam, don't you do it," Dean calls out from the floor behind his brother, still horribly faint. "Don't you do it." The voices are pulling Sam in two directions, one loud and commanding, the other quiet and pleading. Two options, one huge decision – his to make.

Returning to edit this recap at a later date, after geeking out elsewhere for a while, I'm struck by the parallel to the finale of the first new season of Doctor Who. There, in striking similarity to Sam's situation here, the Doctor's companions are all stripped away from him and he finds himself facing his greatest enemy all alone, finger on the trigger, and a huge decision to make. The Doctor's decision is on an epic scale: finally defeat his greatest enemy, but destroy the whole world in the process. Sam's choice comes at a more intimate level: finally defeat his greatest enemy, but destroy his entire family in the process. There are, of course, a huge number of other parallels I could cite as well, from TV, film and the literature of ages past, but this is supposed to be an essay, not a thesis, so I won't go any further down that road. Suffice it to say – or, y'know, to repeat – that it is a very familiar narrative structure, one which is used again and again for a reason: because when the fresh spin on that familiar story is told well, as it is here, it is awesome.

Because Sam also wants revenge, very badly. But does he want it badly enough to justify the cost? His grief is fresher than John's, more raw, where John's has had over 20 years to fester. With John is bellowing at him to shoot, he cocks and aims the Colt, and there he is again with the gun in his hand and a decision to make that will change everything, and then from behind him comes that choking little whisper again. "Sam, no."

The whisper wins out over the bellow.

Sam struggles and struggles with not knowing what to do for the best, and he ultimately makes the same decision that the Doctor does. He can't do it. Seems he's heard everything Dean's had to say recently about family coming before revenge, after all, realised that revenge would be meaningless if they had to sacrifice what's left of their broken little family to gain it. So he lowers the gun, and The Demon comes pouring out of John and disappears into the ground and is gone. So, really - what good was all that salt around the doors and windows?

Bad moon rising…

Cut to the Impala, fleeing in the direction of the nearest hospital, although God only knows what excuse they think they can cook up to explain all this. Sam is driving, obviously, since he's the least injured, with a pained John beside him in the passenger seat nursing his gunshot wound, and Dean slumped half-dead and bleeding in the back. And John...I can't get over John's attitude. If Dean can be ruthless where protecting his family is concerned, John's coldness and ruthlessness apparently includes his family – it seems there's nothing he won't sacrifice for that festering obsession with revenge, including himself, and therefore including them by default, and I just...I despise him for that. How much of himself has he allowed to burn away under the glare of that obsession?

JOHN: "I'm surprised at you, Sammy. Why didn't you kill it? I thought we saw eye to eye on this. Killing this demon comes first. Before me, before everything."

And he can say that with his firstborn bleeding to death right behind him? Without sparing him so much as a glance? Just how blinkered is this man? Sam, however, looks up to see Dean in the rearview mirror, glassy eyed, bloodstained and semi-conscious, and disagrees. He's learned his lesson well.

SAM: "No, sir. Not before everything."

Good, good! Very well said. I'm proud of you, Sammy! And so would Dean be if he wasn't so out of it.

Sam starts to argue that they still have the Colt, still have one bullet left, they can start over, and then.… BANG! CRASH! Give me a heart attack, why don't you?!

The Impala is smashed into broadside on by a mahoosive lorry, and the impact takes it a long, long way off the road before they all come to a shuddering halt. The camera pans across the black, demon-possessed eyes of the lorry driver into the completely totalled Impala, showing us John, Sam and Dean, unconscious and bleeding and smooshed...and...and...words fail me again! Cliffhanger! Suspense! Roll on season two and, damn, I'm so glad it's happening!


August 2006

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