"Dude, I full on Swayze'd that mother."

Man! That's a sucker-punch of an opener to the new season, swapping action-packed drama for powerful emotional intensity.

Recap. Then – and now.

Smash. A passing lorry, possessed driver at the wheel, sideswipes the Impala right off the road.

Music is still playing. Who the heck was it that turned on the radio at a time like that? The possessed truck driver clambers down from his cab and comes for the gun, since The Demon seems to think that magic Colt with its one remaining magic bullet is so important. He just pulls the door – which, in fairness, was already hanging half off anyway – right off the car. Poor Impala! The rear passenger door is also hanging slightly open, with Dean slumped against it in danger of falling right out of the car – and hey! Where did the blood around Dean's mouth go? Bad continuity! Or are we not supposed to remember that he was tortured half to death even before the crash?

The demon's focus is on Sam, at the wheel. Sam has the Colt.

Sam comes around just in time, and is instantly alert enough to wave the Colt threateningly at the possessed guy, who tries to call his bluff, reminding him that he only has one bullet left and wants to save it for someone else. But Sam has a dangerous glint in his eyes, behind all the blood, and levels the gun at him, his only thought right now being to protect his helpless family…and the demon thinks better of it.

He gives up kind of easy, actually; if he'd tempted Sam into firing the gun, that would have been the end of that. Instead, the demon just exits the man it is possessing and leaves. Does The Demon care about his underlings that much? Or is it that it really does want that gun, usable, for reasons of its own? The whole scene is actually kind of melodramatic, but necessary to explain away that demon-possessed truck driver in the immediate aftermath.

The demon departs, and the confused truck driver wakes up, horrified to see what he's done. You have to feel sorry for the guy. He'll have this on his conscience and it wasn't even his fault. Sam calls for his dad, and then for Dean. There is no reply.

And then it's morning, all of a sudden, and there's a helicopter and everything, emergency services a-swarming. Just how late in the night was it when the accident happened, and how long has it taken to get help, if the hospital was only ten minutes away? The family Winchester is rushed to hospital, Sam still yelling to be told if his father and brother are even still alive.

Hospital. Dean wakes up. Even stubblier than usual and with a wicked scar across his forehead, heavily stapled, he swings himself off the bed, and…he's completely alone. Scared and worried, he starts wandering around in search of his family. Or, in fact, anyone. He's barefoot and clad in nowt but trouser scrubs and a thin, somewhat clingy little white t-shirt, in stark contrast to his usual multitude of layers. Looking very small and alone as he firmly heads away from a prominent 'exit' sign, which is nicely symbolic – the direction on this episode is superb – he awkwardly makes his way downstairs, apparently in some discomfort, finds a receptionist, and tries asking her for help. There's no response. She can't see him.

Alarmed now, Dean rushes back to the room he just came from – and therein finds his own comatose body, hooked up to a respirator and a lot of other machines; tubes and wires everywhere. He stares at himself in horror.

New titles. Fiery new titles! I liked the old ones, but the new version is strangely fitting. And just as short and sweet, which I wholeheartedly approve of.

Leaning against the wall of his room trying hard to process and not panic, Spirit!Dean continues to stare fretfully at his comatose body. Then Sam arrives, still wearing the same bloodstained clothes he's been in for the past two episodes. He's got an amazingly painful looking black eye; kudos to the makeup department.

Dean's immediate reaction is enormous relief at seeing his brother on his feet and relatively undamaged, considering. Not that Sam can see or hear him. Sam is just horrified at seeing his brother in this condition, can't even speak, but Dean keeps trying to make himself heard, anxiously asking after their dad. "Come on, you're the psychic. Give me some ghost-whispering, or something!"

A doctor arrives and gives Sam the news Dean has been waiting to hear – John is awake and he can go see him. Pretty much ignoring this information, Sam asks about Dean, and the doctor explains that Dean is seriously injured, rattling off a list of blood loss, and contusions to the liver and kidney. This litany of injury doesn't actually bear much resemblance to the damage we saw Dean suffer in Devil's Trap, but never mind. This is not a medical drama, so they can be forgiven for fudging the medical details. What they are most concerned about, the doctor explains, is the head trauma – and that's from the accident, not The Demon – since there are early signs of cerebral oedema. That doesn't sound good.

This doctor really could do with some work on his bedside manner – he sounds way too upbeat for the delivery of such bad news to traumatised accident victims about their critically injured relatives!

Dean looks alarmed. Sam asks what can be done and the doctor simply says they won't know for sure until Dean wakes up – if he wakes up. Sam and Dean both protest the use of the word 'if', the one rather more audibly than the other, but the doctor blithely continues that most people with this degree of injury wouldn't have survived as long as this, that Dean is fighting very hard, but that Sam needs to have realistic expectations.

Yeah, we all remember what happened last time a doctor said something like that to Sam. But Sam just looks traumatised now, lost and afraid. It's been a hell of a last few days.

DEAN: "Come on, Sam. Go find some hoodoo priest, lay some mojo on me. I'll be fine."

John's room. John hands Sam an insurance card. Yet another fake ID: Elroy McGillicuddy 'and his two loving sons'. I wonder how that ties in with whatever names Sam gave when they arrived – as the only one conscious, he'd presumably have been asked to fill in admission forms for them all. Sam's fear has now hardened into resolve, and he says that if the doctors won't do anything for Dean, they will have to. "I don't know, find some hoodoo priest and lay some mojo on him."

Dean's exact words. LOL. My Dad does that all the time – you say something to him, and he doesn't register that he's heard it, but repeats your exact words a minute later, as if he thought of it himself. Sam squints a little, like he's not quite sure where that came from. John agrees that they will look for someone, but warns that they may not find anything. Deep in denial, Sam mentions the faith healer he found before, but John tells him that was one in a million.

Have they talked about that, then? Does John know exactly what went down in Nebraska, with the Reaper and everything? Has he tried to explain why he never even called back? It's something I've never been able to forgive him for. When did this conversation take place? It's not like they've had that much time back together, what with everything that's been going on. Sam gets frustrated at such negativity, but John assures him that they will explore every possibility. And then he asks after the Colt.

Sam is outraged. "Your son is dying, and you're worried about the Colt?"

John sticks to his guns – no pun intended – pointing out that they are hunting The Demon, and maybe it is hunting them, too, and the Colt is all they've got. It is very rare for them to so openly acknowledge the fact that The Demon seems to have a vested interest in their family, the fact that it may be pursuing them even as they pursue it. It is implied from time to time – the clear interest it has in Sam, for a start, and that trap laid for John in Shadow. But they never really talk about that side of it, only about their own vengeance hunt.

Sullen, Sam tells John that the Colt is in the trunk, back in the Impala. When did he get a chance to stow it in there? He had it in his hand after the crash. Sam goes on to explain that he's already called Bobby, who is only an hour away, and has arranged for him to tow the Impala back to his place before any passing idiot can find all their weapons stashed inside. Good thinking, Sam. I'm so glad that detail has been acknowledged – the fact that the Impala is stuffed full of fake IDs and weaponry of all descriptions. However, I now can't help wondering about John's truck, equally stuffed full of weaponry and fake ID, abandoned with its tyres slashed back outside that warehouse in Lincoln where John was captured.

John tells Sam to get the Colt and bring it to him, watching out for hospital security, of course, and Sam manages a wan little smile as he says that he's got it covered. I'm guessing Sam has had hours to fret about all these details while waiting for news of his much more seriously injured relatives. With both John and Dean out of action, the walking-wounded Sam was left to deal with the fine detail – and it sounds like he's handled that side of it all extremely well.

Sam has reached the door on his way out when John calls him back and hands over a list of things he wants Bobby to pick up for him – "for protection."

It's worth noting just how early on John had this list prepared – this is the first he's seen of either of his sons since the accident, although presumably he's talked to the doctor about their condition. But already he's making plans. How long was he awake and functional before Sam came to see him?

Sam again starts to leave, but then stops once more, and turns back. "You know, the Demon – he said he has plans for me, and the children like me. You have any idea what he meant by that?"

Oh, Sam. All this crisis, and he's had that stewing away as well, while being patched up himself and waiting to learn what was happening with John and Dean: lots of time with nothing to do but think about everything that's happened, everything that was said.

But John just shakes his head and says he has no idea. No comfort or reassurance to offer. Sam leaves, unsatisfied. John looks inscrutable. And the camera now picks up Dean, lounging attractively against the wall in the corner of the room, arms folded, watching his father intently.

DEAN: "Well, you sure know something."

Out at some junkyard the car was hauled to from the crash site, Sam has met up with Bobby, and gazes at the Impala in deep dismay.

SAM: "Oh, man. Dean is gonna be pissed."

Yeah, Sam – and you were driving.

Oh, the Impala! It's a total wreck. Looking at the passenger side damage, I'm amazed that John seems so relatively undamaged, considering. He's got an arm in a sling, but otherwise looks remarkably unscathed. The cuts and bruises he already had before the crash.

Bobby, who seems to have had his hair trimmed since the boys visited him last episode, only a day or two earlier, gives Sam the brutal truth – the car isn't even worth towing. There's nothing left to salvage, they might as well just empty it and sell the rest for scrap. Sam, picking over the remains of the ruined laptop, refuses point blank to even contemplate the idea. "Dean'd kill me if we did that. When he gets better he's gonna want to fix this."

He's sticking firmly to that 'when', ignoring the doctor's 'if', despite his use of the word 'dying' while bickering with John. He won't allow himself to contemplate the worst.

But there's nothing to fix, Bobby tells him, reeling off a lengthy list of damage.

SAM: "Listen to me, Bobby. If there's only one working part, that's enough. We're not just gonna give up on…"

He's not really talking about the car, and Bobby recognises that, and quietly agrees. Sam then hands over the list of supplies John asked for, and Bobby glances over it, looking startled. Sam becomes suspicious.

Back at the hospital, John sits at Dean's bedside. Machines beep and hiss. John remains silent, just staring sadly at his injured son. How I'd love to know what is going through his head at this moment, but we're never really shown that much of how John ticks. The show is about his sons, and the audience never gets to know John any better than they do. In many ways he remains an enigma to them, and therefore to us, as well.

Spirit!Dean approaches. I guess he's been sticking close to John ever since Sam took off to deal with the car, since he does like to keep one or the other – preferably both – where he can see them, if at all possible. "Come on, Dad, you've got to help me. I've got to get better, I've got to get back in there."

Nothing. No reaction. Not that you'd expect one, Spirit!Dean being a disembodied spirit, and all. But he's frightened, not to mention feeling angry, and hurt – betrayed, even. Increasingly frustrated with his helplessness. All kinds of long-pent-up emotions are churning away madly, and now come bursting out.

DEAN: "You haven't called a soul for help. You haven't even tried. Aren't you gonna do anything? Aren't you even gonna say anything! I've done everything you have ever asked me. Everything. I've given everything I've ever had. And you're just gonna sit there and watch me die? I mean, what the hell kind of father are you?"

Damn, that hurts. It's an outburst that's been the best part of 23 years coming. The faith that Dean has in his father has always been one of his most consistent character traits. No matter what John did, Dean has always believed in him, always trusted that he had good reasons for his actions, whether he understood them or not. But now they're at the end of the road, he's staring his own death right in the face, and he wants to still believe in John, but he's frightened, full of doubt. John doesn't seem to be doing anything to help despite what he told Sam, it's impossible to read what he's thinking even; Dean feels his faith has been betrayed – and years' worth of bottled-up hurt and doubt comes flooding out.

But John didn't hear a word of it, and if he'd been able to, Dean probably wouldn't have said it. Probably.

A rumbling sound then distracts Dean from his father's apparent indifference, and he wanders to the door to investigate only to be startled by a ghostly spirit rushing past. He glances back into his room. John hasn't reacted. "I take it you didn't see that."

So Dean takes off, seeming to welcome the distraction from his own dire condition, stalking the hallways in search of the thing he just saw. And, on a purely shallow note, I have to say that tight-fitting thin little t-shirt the hospital put on him is very becoming. He needs to lose the layers more often. I also love that he's wandering around barefoot all episode. Gliding effortlessly into hunter-mode as he searches for the spirit, he follows it into a room wherein it vanishes, but he finds a woman lying on the floor, choking. He yells for help, but no one can hear him.

And, damn. If there's one thing Dean hates, it's being helpless to save someone he sees in peril. The woman continues to choke, dying right there in front of him, and there is nothing he can do about it.

She's making enough noise choking that you'd think someone corporeal would have heard her, too, though.

Back in John's room, Sam returns with the bag of tricks he picked up from Bobby, as per John's request, and stares moodily out of the window, oblivious to his agitated brother yelling at him about the thing in the hospital. Must be torture for Dean, to be so completely unable to communicate, but he keeps trying anyway. It's that Winchester stubbornness shining through. Plus, y'know, even under normal circumstances, Dean is always talking, whether there's anyone around to hear him or not. He talks to himself when he's alone. And when he is quiet, it's usually a sign that something's wrong. So it figures that he'd keep on talking now, in these circumstances – John and Sam can't hear or see him, but he needs to feel connected to them still. And talking to them, whether they can hear or not, is all he's got.

John comments on Sam's quietness, and it's like a match to blue touch paper. Sam turns on him, furious. The stuff he asked Bobby for isn't for protection at all, it seems – it's to summon a demon. The Demon.

JOHN: "I have a plan, Sam."
SAM: "That's exactly my point! Dean is dying, and you have a plan! You know, you care more about killing this demon than you do saving your own son!"

And we remember again that making that list was practically the first thing John did after waking up in hospital. He remains so inscrutable, revealing so little of his feelings, hiding his intentions and thought processes, it's impossible to work out what's going on in his head. What exactly is his plan at this stage? He made that list so early on, but do his eventual actions tie in with his original plan, or did the plan remain fluid until much later? Is he torn, wavering over what to do, or completely resolute, right from the start? There's no indication either way visible in his poker face.

We have no way of knowing what John is thinking or feeling, and neither does Sam, and that's part of what makes Sam so angry. He's in turmoil over everything that's happened, terrified for his brother, and he needs to know that he isn't alone in all that, that his dad is feeling the same way, that they can share their pain. But he's getting so little back from John that he can understand or relate to, it just feeds his anger and despair.

When Sam talked to Bobby he was resolutely positive about Dean's condition, insisting to both Bobby and himself that Dean was going to get better, no question. But with John he keeps repeating the same negative phrases over and over. "Dean is dying", "your son is dying", like a sledgehammer trying to drive home his point, determined to provoke a reaction. He's so devastated and scared himself; he can't understand John's grim resolve.

Despairing now, Dean pleads with them not to do this, but to no avail. They can't see or hear him, and the fight continues.

JOHN: "Do not tell me how I feel. I am doing this for Dean."

Well, that gets Dean's attention, but Sam is too angry to really take it in, too hell bent on assuming and accusing to hear any reasonable explanation, even if John was likely to give him one.

SAM: "How? How is revenge gonna help him? You're not thinking about anybody but yourself, it's the same selfish obsession."

Interesting how Sam's accusations here are practically word for word the arguments Dean threw at Sam back in Devil's Trap – blind, selfish obsession, not caring about anything but revenge. Sam was so gung-ho back then, so determined to take out that thing or die in the attempt. But now that Dean's life looks like being the price they will pay for that attempt at revenge, Sam finally understands what his brother has been trying to say for the past few episodes.

JOHN: "Funny. You know what? I thought this was your obsession too. This demon killed your mother, killed your girlfriend. You begged me to be part of this hunt. Now if you'd killed that damned thing when you had the chance, none of this would have happened."
SAM: "It was possessing you, Dad, I would have killed you too."
JOHN: "Yeah, and your brother would be awake right now."
SAM: "Go to hell."

Blaming each other, because the only alternative is to blame themselves, and they are both too stubborn, too proud, and at the moment too emotionally frayed, to allow themselves that. They both wanted to pursue that demon, no matter what, and this is the result.

Throughout this blazing row, Dean has been yelling at them to not do this, to just shut up. It's no good, though – he's invisible. He's probably felt invisible many times in the past – too many times – when they fought like this and he couldn't stop them. But at least in Dead Man's Blood when they were arguing he was able to physically get in between them and force them apart. He can't even do that now.

JOHN: "I should have never taken you along in the first place. I knew it was a mistake –"
DEAN: "I said shut up!"

Frustration and anger at their behaviour and his own situation getting the better of him, he swipes at a glass of water beside John's bed – and sends it flying across the room. Well, that shuts John and Sam up all right. They stare at the broken glass and water on the floor, and then at each other, shocked. Dean is equally shocked.

DEAN: "Dude, I full on Swayze'd that mother."

But then he immediately drops to his knees in pain, starting to flicker in and out. Medics are rushing past the room. Something is going on, and John sends Sam to see what it is.

In his room in intensive care, Dean has arrested and the crash team are working feverishly, with CPR and defibrillation – the full works. I can't help wondering if he would have crashed anyway as a result of his injuries, or if the timing of it it was the result of some kind of feedback from that moment of rage and despair as he tried so hard to stop his father and brother from fighting again.

"No," Sam whispers brokenly from the doorway, clinging to the doorpost for support as he watches, almost crying. His face just breaks my heart. Behind him, Spirit!Dean slowly approaches, like he can't quite bear to look. Which is understandable – who'd want to watch the moment of their own death? The look of dread on his face also breaks my heart. He is then beyond alarmed when he sees the grey, ghostly spirit of earlier hovering over his body. He yells at it to stay away from him, to get back.

And Sam reacts, puzzled: like he almost heard that.

Since yelling hasn't worked, Dean lunges for the spirit – and manages to get a grip on it. It throws him off, but then swoops back out of the room, away from his body. He gives chase. And the medics working on his body announce that they've got him back, sinus rhythm restored. It took four or fives shocks and a lot of CPR, and goodness knows what else, to get there, though. Sam just about collapses with relief.

This scene gives us a nice clear view of Dean's bare torso while the doctors work on him. He's got two long, thin dressings with traces of blood seeping through, one across the chest, and the other lower, on the abdomen. Is that physical evidence of whatever The Demon did to him? Or the marks of surgery to treat his internal injuries? Like John and Sam, he is otherwise remarkably un-bruised for someone who was just in a car smash, and there have been no comments made about his Demon-inflicted injuries being inconsistent with the accident, so I suppose they must not be. Or that we aren't supposed to remember that he was tortured by The Demon before being in the car smash. You'd expect John's gunshot wound to have raised a few eyebrows, though, at least.

Having lost the creature, Dean returns and sees his brother still standing there in the hallway, staring into the room looking distraught, fast approaching the end of his tether. He looks like he needs a really big hug. But hugging isn't Dean's thing even when corporeal, so instead he opts for his usual tactic, offering Sam calm and practical reassurance whether he can hear him or not. "Don't worry, Sammy. I'm not going anywhere. I'm getting that thing before it gets me. It's some kind of spirit, but I could grab it. And if I can grab it, I can kill it."

Whereupon Sam turns, and stares down the corridor in the direction Dean was just standing, as if he thinks he might have heard something.

And Dean has now got something practical to do, something to focus on other than his own impending death. Wandering around the corridors once more, presumably looking for the spirit so he can try to kill it before it kills him, he hears a woman's voice shouting desperately that no one can see her. "Now what?" he grumbles, going to have a look. I completely understand this attitude – it's been a hell of a last few days for him, and isn't over yet.

He finds a distressed young woman, also clad in pyjama bottoms and white t-shirt, wandering around shouting for help. No one can see her, apparently. But Dean can, and she can see him. They are in the same boat, it would seem. The woman's name is Tessa, she tells him, and asks if she is dead.

"That sorta depends," says Dean, instantly gliding into his habitual caretaker mode. Having someone to look after tends to have as much of a calming effect on him as having something practical to do.

They go and find Tessa's room, wherein she appears to be in much the same condition as Dean himself, a distraught mother weeping at her bedside. Tessa protests that she just came in for an appendectomy.

DEAN: "I hate to bear bad news, but I think there were some complications."

He explains that they are having an out-of-body experience, and sounds very well informed on the subject, reeling off a list of different names for the phenomenon. He certainly knows his stuff. It basically means that they are spirits of people close to death.

TESSA: "So we're going to die?"
DEAN: "No. Not if we hold on. Our bodies can get better and we can snap right back in there and wake up."

There's that Winchester stubbornness again, with an added dash of Dean's habitual optimism and denial.

Sam, meanwhile, is reporting back to John about Dean's latest close shave – and his own experience thereof.

JOHN: "What do you mean, you felt something?"
SAM: "I mean, it felt – like Dean. Like he was there, just out of eyeshot or something. I don't know if it's my psychic thing or what, but do you think it's even possible? Do you think his spirit could be around?"

Anything's possible, John tells him, rather cryptically. We learn later that he knows a lot more about Sam and his abilities than he's ever let on, so he's not just humouring his son there. He doesn't allow the possibility of Dean's spirit wandering around loose to distract him from his own plans, though. Sam focusing so much on that aspect of things is probably a relief to him, as it leaves him free to pursue his own angle.

Sam says there's one way to find out. He then makes to leave, to pick something up, but John calls after him.

JOHN: "I promise – I won't hunt this demon. Not until we know Dean's okay."

Sam nods, accepting that promise, believing it. He leaves, and John watches him go, all inscrutable again. I really want to know what's going on in that man's head, because he's potentially fascinating – he is fascinating – but we never get any real insight into how he thinks.

Wandering randomly around the hospital together, Dean and Tessa are talking – mostly about how well she's taking all this. Better than him, Dean tells her, bemused. She is very calm, saying that while she's not okay with dying, whatever's going to happen is going to happen, out of her control and in the hands of fate. Dean frowns at that. His philosophy of life is completely different.

DEAN: "That's crap. You always have a choice. You can either roll over and die, or you can keep fighting, no matter what –"

An urgent call over the tannoy and another surge of passing medics distract him. Telling Tessa to stay where she is, he rushes off to see what's happening now. The code blue is for a young girl, and Dean gets there to find that ghostly spirit hovering over her, touching its ghostly fingers very gently against her cheek. He yells at it to get away from her, but it is too late. The spirit vanishes – and the girl is gone. Time of death is given as 5.11pm.

"At least she's not suffering any more," says one of the nurses, and Dean turns to look at her, curious, as he realises something: starting to figure it all out.

Back in Dean's room, Sam arrives, clutching a large paper bag. "Hey," he greets his comatose brother. It's the first time he's spoken to his brother since they arrived in hospital, now that he suspects Dean can actually hear him. "I think maybe you're around, and if you are…you'll make fun of me for this, but, um. But there's one way we can talk."

He pulls a ouija board.

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me," says Dean, having apparently returned to his own room after that other girl's death, rather than going back to where he left Tessa. Maybe he needed to see his body to reassure himself, given what he's just realised…

All determined, Sam sets himself down cross-legged at the foot of the bed, out of sight of prying eyes from the corridor, and sets the ouija board out on the floor in front of him. "Dean, are you here?"

"God, I feel like I'm at a slumber party." I love that Sam knew Dean would mock him, and he does. He goes along with it, though, sitting down cross-legged opposite his brother. "All right, Sam. This isn't gonna work."

But it does work – Dean puts his hands on the ouija board, and is able to move the pointer, answering that first question with a simple 'yes'. Dean is amazed that it worked, and Sam laughs out loud with unabashed delight.

SAM: "It's good to hear from you, man. It hasn't been the same without you, Dean."
DEAN: "Damn straight."

Dean then starts moving the pointer again, spelling out the word 'hunt'. It's kind of a cryptic message, but spelling words out letter-by-letter is not the easiest way of communicating. He's hunting? Sam asks, and the pointer moves back to the word 'yes'. Sam keeps questioning – this thing he's hunting, is it in the hospital, does he know what it is?"

"One question at a time, dude," says Dean, concentrating hard on what he's doing.

Another 'yes', and then Sam asks what if he knows what it is. This time Dean starts to spell out the word 'reaper'. "I don't think it's killing people, it's just taking them," he explains. "You know, their time's just up."

Sam, of course, didn't hear any of that. All he's got is the word 'reaper', but it's enough to make him even more worried than he has been all episode, a heart-stopping moment. "Dean. Is it after you?"

Dean drops his eyes, can't look at him. But he answers the question, moving the pointer once more. 'Yes'. Sam looks stricken as he realises the implications of this, reaching the same grim conclusion that Dean has already come to.

SAM: "If it's here naturally, then there's no way to stop it."
DEAN: "Yeah, you can't kill death."
SAM: "Man, you're, um…"
DEAN: "I'm screwed, Sam."
SAM: "No. No, no, no. There's gotta be a way. Dad'll know what to do."

For all his persistent bickering with John, when it comes to the crunch, Sam turns out to have much the same faith in him that Dean usually displays: if all else fails, Dad will know what to do. He marches off to John's room, frightened but determined…

…And stops dead in his tracks when he gets there. John is gone.

John is downstairs in the boiler room beneath the hospital – which, shades of Asylum, there. He's dressed now, in the same bloodstained clothes he was wearing in Devil's Trap. So while Sam was off collecting the stuff he asked for, and changing into clean clothes himself, he didn't think to bring along anything for John to wear? Presumably he didn't expect John to be up and about so soon. Carrying the bag of tricks Sam brought from Bobby, John is limping slightly, but on the whole moving remarkably well for a guy who just got shot in the leg and was smashed up in a car accident. Finding a suitable space, he pulls out some chalk, and starts drawing symbols on the ground.

I'm reliably informed that the symbol John draws is the sigil of Azazel, which is very google-able – it's fascinating to speculate about what all this means!

Sam returns to Dean's room, and sits himself down on the bed in companiable fashion, conversationally explaining that John wasn't in his room.

"Where is he?" Spirit!Dean immediately asks, having apparently hung around keeping his comatose body company rather than following Sam to John's room. Maybe he couldn't face listening to another conversation between those two after what happened last time.

Sam is now talking directly to Dean's body rather than addressing thin air as he was during the ouija board session. He seems more comfortable in his brother's comatose presence now that he's made direct contact. Talking to Dean usually manages to calm Sam down when he's distressed, restores his focus, and that holds firm even now, in these circumstances. He continues that he's got John's journal and will see if there's anything useful in there, and starts leafing through, absolutely steadfast in his determination. Dean watches him for a moment, looking touched.

DEAN: "Thanks for not giving up on me, Sammy."

There's an entry all about Reapers. Reading over Sam's shoulder, Dean has a lightbulb moment. Glowering, he strides away like a man marching into battle.

In a darkened room, elsewhere in the hospital, he finds Tessa sitting on the empty bed that had previously contained her supposed physical body – now completely gone, as if it was never there. Which, of course, it wasn't. She's not wearing her hospital garb anymore, having switched to a little black number, and has given up all pretence at innocence. Her manner is now smooth and serene.

DEAN: "You know, you read the most interesting things."

He should try that line on Sam, who'd drop dead on the spot at the thought of Dean reading anything!

DEAN: "For example, did you know that Reapers can alter human perception? I sure didn't."

Tessa is a Reaper, having chosen to appear to him in human form after he reacted so badly to seeing her more ghostly self. "You're much prettier than the last Reaper I met."

Well, yeah – that one was a fugly old guy in a suit. This one is a vast improvement, measured against those standards. It'd be interesting to know why the Reapers in this episode look so different to that one, to know why that one looked the way it did. Purely a matter of personal choice on the part of the individual Reaper, or what?

TESSA: "You saw my true form and you flipped out. Kind of hurts a girl's feelings. This was the only way I could get you to talk to me."

Managing to keep all but the tiniest of tremors out of his voice, Dean asks what the hell she wants to talk about.

TESSA: "How death is nothing to fear. It's your time to go, Dean. And you're living on borrowed time already."

That's an interesting remark. There are two different senses in which Dean could be considered to be on borrowed time. Today, he hauled the Reaper away from his body just at the point of death, so you could say his time ran out then and he's on borrowed time from that point of view. I'd assume, though, that she's referring to his last healing: another life was exchanged for his, and without that exchange he'd have been dead long before now. By that standard he's been on borrowed time for about six months now. As she gently touches his face, he gives a little gasp, and then stares into her eyes, looking afraid.

Down in the boiler room, John is conducting a dark little ritual, with candles, Latin chanting, his own blood, and all sorts. He drops a lighted match into a bowl of sand, or incense, or summat, and a column of sparks flies up out of it. It's very impressive. John stands and looks around, waiting.

A janitor appears, threatening him with security since this area is out of bounds. John pulls out the Colt and levels it at him, and the orange eyes of The Demon are revealed.

JOHN: "How stupid do you think I am?"
JANITOR: "Do you really want an honest answer to that?"

So John knew how to summon The Demon? What was all the tracking and hunting all about, then? It's a hugely dangerous thing to do, that much is certain – surely not something he'd attempt unless truly desperate.

A couple of medics appear, possessed, and take up position behind John while the Demon janitor talks, all amazed at the notion of John conjuring him. "I took you for a lot of things, but suicidally reckless wasn't one of them."

JOHN: "I could always shoot you."
JANITOR: "You could always miss. And you only got one try, don'tcha? Did you really think you could trap me?"
JOHN: "Oh, I don't want to trap you. I wanna make a deal."

He lowers the gun. The Janitor looks intrigued.

Upstairs, Sam is still hanging around Dean's room, but despair is starting to set in. He's had plenty to do to keep him occupied up till now, but he's run out of options now, running out of hope.

"Dean, are you here?" he asks, looking around the room and addressing thin air once more – anything rather than actually look at his brother, lying there so still. "I couldn't find anything in the book. I don't know how to help you. But I'll keep trying, all right? As long as you keep fighting. I mean, come on. You can't – you can't leave me here alone with Dad, we'll kill each other, you know that. Dean, you've gotta hold on. You can't go, man, not now. We were just starting to be brothers again. Can you hear me?"

Oh, Sam. Full marks to Jared Padalecki for this scene – he hits the emotion perfectly.

But Dean isn't there, and can't hear him. He's still in that other room, talking to Tessa – to the Reaper. Trying to bargain for his own life. "You've gotta make an exception, you've gotta cut me a break."

Tessa isn't having any of it, but Dean keeps trying. He argues that his family is in danger, that they are in the middle of a war, that he's needed, getting more and more desperate. Being needed to watch his family's backs – to watch Sam's back – is absolutely central to who Dean is, and he clings to it. Even now, after everything The Demon said to him in Devil's Trap. Maybe especially because of what The Demon said to him.

TESSA: "The fight's over."
DEAN: "No, it isn't."
TESSA: "It is for you. Dean, you're not the first soldier I've plucked from the field. They all feel the same. They can't leave; victory hangs in the balance. But they're wrong. The battle goes on without them."
DEAN: "My brother – he could die without me."
TESSA: "Maybe he will, maybe he won't. Nothing you can do about it. It's an honourable death – a warrior's death."
DEAN: "I think I'll pass on the 72 virgins, thanks. I'm not that into prude chicks, anyway."

But his heart isn't in the banter, and he just sounds desolate – and then angry.

DEAN: "There's no such thing as an honourable death. My corpse is gonna rot in the ground and my family is going to die."

He refuses to go, still convinced that if he argues hard enough, holds on long enough, he'll be able to get back in his body and pick up where he left off. Tessa shakes her head. Like he said, there's always a choice – but not the kind of choice he wants so badly to believe in. "I can't make you come with me. But you're not getting back in your body, and that's just facts."

Yes, she tells him, he can stay. He can stay for years – disembodied and scared. Over the decades it will drive him mad, maybe even violent. That's how angry spirits are born: unable to either let go or move on. He's on the brink of becoming the very thing he hunts. Dean looks horrified, and desolate again. Devastated, as he starts to realise that this really is the end of the line, and that he can't deny it any longer.

Full marks to Jensen Ackles, too, for the entire episode. He manages to convey the intense emotional turmoil Dean is going through so perfectly, without a single word of dialogue needed.

Down in the basement, the Janitor points out to John how unseemly it is to be making deals with devils. John is resolute – he will hand over the Colt and the bullet, if The Demon will help Dean, bring him back. That's an impressive turnaround for John, who has been so hell bent on using that gun on The Demon and nothing else ever since he laid his hands on it. John, who was so intent on his revenge he was prepared to die at the hands of his own son if it meant taking out The Demon at the same time, and who was so disappointed that Sam couldn't bring himself to do it.

He has no way of knowing just how close Dean is to the edge, no way of knowing about the Reaper, and yet he seems pretty much convinced that Dean is definitely going to die. But then, Sam has been telling him so all episode. I'd still like to know exactly when he came up with this plan, though. As I pointed out earlier, he had that list of resources already prepared when Sam came to see him for the first time after the accident. Was that because he was already planning this desperate little deal? Or was he originally planning the stupid macho showdown that Sam accused him of, only to change his mind later? If it was this plan he was setting in motion from the start, he must have already talked to the doctor about Dean's condition and been told just how dire it was, more so than Sam was told. And this, apparently, is the only solution he could come up with.

Just how much does he know about The Demon that he hasn't told the boys? It's clear that he flat out lied to them in Salvation when he said he'd told them everything he knew.

JANITOR: "Why, John. You're a sentimentalist. If only your boys knew how much their daddy loved them."
JOHN: "It's a good trade. You care a hell of a lot more about this gun than you do Dean."

Why? Why does The Demon care so much about that gun? There's only one bullet left, and after that it's useless. I'm intrigued, but this question won't be answered till the very end of the season.

JANITOR: "Don't be so sure. He killed some people very special to me."

I'm still intrigued by the process of demonic possession as it plays out in this show. Who or what exactly was it that was so special to The Demon – the particular lesser demons themselves that inhabited those human bodies, the humans they were in, or a combination of the two? We've seen its underlings jumping from body to body quite freely in Devil's Trap and again in this episode. Are some of those underlings more special than others? Are certain humans chosen for possession for special reasons, while others are just convenient at the time and more freely discarded? Meg was possessed for a whole year.

JANITOR: "But still, you're right. He isn't much of a threat. And neither is your other son, of course. You know the truth, right? About Sammy, and the other children?"
JOHN: "Yeah. I've known for a while."
JANITOR: "But Sam doesn't, does he? You've been playing dumb."

Now that really is interesting – absolute confirmation that John knows a hell of a lot more than he's ever let on, that his apparently surprise and disbelief on being told of Sam's visions was all a big act. And The Demon doesn't consider either of the boys a threat. Now, it could be lying, trying to get to John. Or it could be telling the truth, because it knows each of their weaknesses – and that John has kept them both so much in the dark. Would they be more dangerous to it if they were fully informed, or is John's silence on that subject truly protecting them in some way?

JOHN: "Can you bring Dean back? Yes or no."
JANITOR: "No. But I know someone who can."

John then insists that before he hands over the gun he wants to see that Dean is okay, with his own eyes.

JANITOR: "Oh, John, I'm offended. Don't you trust me?"

Snicker. Is it bad that I kinda like The Demon? He's funny.

But they don't have a deal, not yet – the Janitor insists that John still needs to sweeten the pot. The Colt and the bullet aren't enough. There's something else The Demon wants, as much as that gun. Maybe more. That's ominous.

Back upstairs in that darkened, empty room, Dean is sitting on the bed now, still looking lost and desolate, like the world is coming to an end. For him, it pretty much is. If he is to remain true to who he is and what he believes, he has to give up and go quietly. But giving up isn't his style either, and yet what choice does he have? Like I said: desolate. Tessa sits behind him, stroking his hair and still gently talking, trying to convince him to give up and go in peace. "It's time to put the pain behind you."

But she's not going to tell him what happens next. What she does tell him is that he has to decide now – no changing his mind later. This is it, a one time only deal. He either goes with her, or remains here as a disembodied spirit. This is the end of the line.

Heartbroken, Dean turns to look at her. Will he stubbornly choose to stay, regardless, allowing himself to become the very thing he hunts – or will he instead remain true to what he believes in and agree to die with dignity?

But before we can find out, before he can say yay or nay, the lights start flickering. They both look alarmed, and Dean instantly moves away from Tessa, suspicious and wary all over again. "What are you doing that for?" There's not even a trace of his usual confidence in his voice any more.

But Tessa isn't doing it, and is just as confused as he is. The black smoke that signifies demons on this show comes pouring out of a nearby vent, and Tessa screams, "You can't do this!" To no avail. The smoke whooshes into her, like an exorcism in reverse. Dean yells in alarm, still completely helpless to do anything about what's going on around him, as he has been all episode.

Tessa turns back to him, with the orange eyes of The Demon. "Today's your lucky day, kid." That isn't Tessa talking – that's The Demon, in her body. So it can even possess Reapers? Whoa. That is one powerful demon. And hey – this actress got to play three completely different personas in one gig.

The Demon lays hands on Dean, who gasps…

…and wakes up back in his body, gagging on the tube in his throat. Still hovering at his bedside, Sam's eyes go wide with disbelief, and he yells for help.

Later, presumably after being put through a whole gamut of tests, Dean sits up in bed, tubes and machines a thing of the past, while the amazed Doctor No Bedside Manner tells him how miraculous it all is. "I can't explain it. The oedema's vanished. Your contusions are healed. Your vitals are good. You've got some kind of angel watching over you."

An angel? If only he knew.

The doctor leaves, possibly pondering whether or not to write up this bizarre case and publish a paper on miraculous healings, and Dean turns to Sam, who is still hovering at his bedside. "You said a Reaper was after me? How'd I ditch it?" He sounds very shaky still.

Sam doesn't know, and Dean can't remember anything. "Except this pit in my stomach. Sam, something's wrong."

He said that last time he was miraculously healed. And he was right that time, too. How many miracles does one guy get, anyway? This is Dean's second in no more than three months. It doesn't seem to be as complete a healing as he got last time, though – he's got an arm curled protectively around his chest, and the external lacerations are all present and correct still judging by that scar on his forehead, even if the internal injuries are healed. Maybe it's because there was no straight exchange of one life, or vitality, for another this time.

Then John arrives, smiling with relief to see his firstborn sitting up and taking notice. "How you feeling, dude?"

I love that he calls him 'dude'.

"Fine, I guess," says Dean, not sounding entirely sure. "I'm alive."

"That's what matters," John says, sincerely.

I gave John a lot of stick throughout the first season, which he thoroughly deserved, on available evidence, for putting his need for revenge ahead of his family, and for being so uncommunicative without us or the boys ever being able to understand why. His priorities seem to have shifted into the proper order now, for which I'm glad – but this is not a man who does anything by halves, and that's something to remember and be concerned about at this juncture.

Sam is instantly on the offensive, asking where John was last night, and refusing to take 'I had some things to take care of' for an answer, convinced that John has gone off and put his desire for revenge ahead of his children yet again.

Dean sighs. "Come on, Sam." He's just barely out of a coma, and there's fighting at his bedside already. Sam demands to know if John went hunting for The Demon, and John is able to honestly say that he didn't. But Sam doesn't believe him, and says so, his tone adversarial. Sam's been under an awful lot of strain in this episode, and taking that out on his Dad, automatically expecting the worst of him, is long-standing habit that he just can't break himself of.

Dean eyes his blanket, despondent, like he just doesn't have the energy to intervene any more. But this time, rather than meeting Sam in a full head-on collision as usual, John instead heads him off at the pass.

JOHN: "Can we not fight? You know, half the time we're fighting and I don't know what we're fighting about. We're just butting heads. Look, Sammy, I've made some mistakes. But I've always done the best I could. I just don't want to fight any more, okay?"

Not rising to the bait this time – that should be enough to set alarm bells ringing, John being John. He's smiling, but looks almost tearful. Sam grows worried at this, his belligerence evaporating at once, and asks if he's all right. John smiles, says that he's tired, and asks Sam to go get him a 'cup of caffeine'.

It's kind of an obvious ploy to get Sam out of the room, but he goes, completely disarmed by his father's unexpected behaviour, and a very sombre John watches him walk away.

"What is it?" Dean asks, knowing that something is wrong.

John turns back to him, still fighting back tears, and starts to talk. "You know, when you were a kid, I'd come home from a hunt, and after what I'd seen, I'd be – I'd be wrecked. And you – you'd come up to me, and you'd put your hand on my shoulder and you'd look me in the eye. You'd say 'it's okay, Dad'. Dean, I'm sorry."

"Why?" Dean asks in a very small voice, like he's been transported back in time about 20 years.

"You shouldn't have had to say that to me," John tells him, recognising at last how badly he failed his son back in those early years especially, placing adult responsibilities on the shoulders of a child. "I should have been saying that to you. You know, I put too much on your shoulders; I made you grow up too fast. You took care of Sammy; you took care of me. You did that, and you didn't complain, not once. I just want you to know that I am so proud of you."

I'm so glad John finally said all that. After everything that happened in Devil's Trap – after everything that's happened all season, and that we've learned about the past – Dean needed to hear it, needs the validation, and maybe John needed to say it. Their relationship has been based on constructive – and sometimes not so constructive – criticism on John's part, and resigned acceptance and obedience on Dean's, for too long now. And Dean lets John say it – no brushing him off, as he did Sam when he tried a similar speech in Salvation.

It all sounds ominously final. John's got tears rolling down his cheeks now, and Dean looks more troubled than ever. Touched, but worried. "Is this really you talking?" he asks, dubiously, but only partly serious. And then asks why John is saying all this. He knows that something is seriously wrong here, and has done since he woke up, post-miracle. He's already learned the hard way that miracles don't come for free.

John puts a hand on his shoulder. "I want you to watch out for Sammy, okay?"

"Yeah, Dad, you know I will," Dean says, looking and sounding more like a lost little boy than ever; four years old all over again. "You're scaring me."

I'm not surprised. It sounds like a final farewell, last will and testament.

"Don't be scared, Dean," says John. And then he leans in close and whispers into Dean's ear, and damn, but we can't hear what he's saying. We can see Dean's face as he reacts, though. He looks shocked, stricken. I want to know what John told him! What new burden has he placed on his son's shoulders now?

After one last look at his son, John walks away and returns to his own room. There, he places the Colt down on a table, sad but resolute. "Okay." There is someone in the room waiting for him…

And then Sam comes sauntering along, cup of caffeine in hand. Glancing into the room, he stops dead. John is lying motionless on the floor. The cup drops to the floor – and lands upright! The director must have been delighted.

Sam rushes in and drops to his knees beside his father's body, yelling for help – and, like his brother, he suddenly resembles nothing more than a frightened little boy.

Cut to – medics swarming all over John, trying to resuscitate him. Dean appears in the doorway, firmly supported by Sam – miraculous healing or not, he's nowhere near 100%. And he's probably still barefoot. I like that Sam went straight to get him, knowing that he needed to be here for this. Sam also needed him to be here for this.

Sam grips Dean's arm tightly as the boys stand at the door and watch, distraught and disbelieving, while the doctors fail to save their dad. He's already gone. Time of death: 10.41am. And the heart monitor gives the date as 19^th July, telling us that the events of season one took place over a nine month period, rather than a whole year.

This was the sweetener, this was what The Demon wanted, as much as the gun. John. But why? He could have killed John easily, at any time. He's demonstrated that. So clearly this wasn't just about killing him. It was about John volunteering – for what? Has he sold his soul into hell for the sake of his son? What would that mean, long-term? I can't quite bring myself to believe that he really is gone for good. With John, nothing is ever as straightforward as it seems, he always seems to have several different endgames working themselves out all at the same time. Does that apply here, in such dire circumstances? Was he really that desperate? Or is there more going on than we are being let in on just yet, even now – something else, something larger?

I really want to know what John said to Dean.

Regardless of the fine detail of John's deal with The Demon, this is the second time now that another life has been exchanged for Dean's, and he didn't think he deserved it the first time. Unless John came out and said, in that whispered exchange, what his deal was – which is unlikely – then he won't know about this second exchange. Yet. But it has to come out. Maybe he already suspects. He definitely won't think his life was worth his dad's death, so what the hell is that going to do to him? John would maybe say it was worth it, that he'd do the same thing again in a heartbeat. Dean still won't believe it.

And what about Sam? His last day with his dad, and he spent most of it picking fights. Dean at least got a proper farewell speech; Sam was totally not in the right frame of mind for anything like that, so John didn't even try. And now it's too late.

How will the brothers react now that John is gone? They will need each other now more than ever, but will their shared grief bring them closer together or drive them apart? This episode saw Dean at his most emotionally vulnerable, his usual defences completely stripped away. How long will it take for his emotional walls to come crashing back into place, more solidly than ever than ever? Will he let Sam in, or shut him out? Will Sam realise what John has done, and if so, how will he react to it?

So many questions. And a whole new season in which to hope for some answers.


October 2006

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