In a nutshell: while escorting a popstar to a concert for troops on a small island, the seaQuest crew find themselves face to face with the Greek god Neptune …

I tend to be in two minds about this one: there are lots of lovely little moments, but the basic storyline makes me cringe. What is nice to see, however, is Ortiz being used as a main focus, which is a rarity. Like 'By Any Other Name', it's best to ignore the plot, and just focus on the good bits.

We start with a truly wonderful exchange between Ford and Ortiz. Ford has assigned Ortiz to escort duty; seaQuest is travelling to Solitaire Island, and pop star Sara Toenin is hitching a lift with them to perform for the troops. Ortiz tries to get out of the duty, and Ford takes the banter and pleading in good humour but stands firm. It's a great scene: again, these are two characters that bounce well off each other. Ford is an officer, and not above using his authority against his subordinates in matters like this, it amuses him to be able to order someone else to do it – this enjoyment of being able to order other people around was also seen in Meltdown, again, in conversation with Ortiz, who was pushing at his limits. Hmm, spot the common denominator. Ortiz, on the other hand, is the subordinate, but – as has been seen on other occasions – is secure enough and easy-going enough to take liberties and make his objections known even if he knows he isn't going to get out of it. It is as close to a real friendship as a senior officer and non-com (even a senior one) are likely to get. Actually, it reminds me a bit of Crocker bantering with Bridger in season one.

Also, we get a snippet of Ortiz background, learning that his father was a television repairman. Both he and Ford talk about his father in the past tense. Does that mean that he's dead? Retired is a possibility, but given that Ortiz is only in his mid-twenties (going by the age of the actor), unless he is the youngest of his large family, or the child of older parents, it seems likely that his father would be too young to have retired yet – and certainly from what we know it's unlikely that they would be able to afford early retirement (unless things have changed by 2022). So, possibly he's dead. Who knows?

Must also mention that this exchange gives us the following quote from Ortiz: "When I signed on to seaQuest I though it was going to be about science, not entertainment." In my mind, that sums up perfectly the difference between seasons one and two. Season one was about science; season two is about entertainment. Bubble-gum style entertainment, usually. And unfortunately.

Elsewhere, Lucas and O'Neill are working together, with Brody and Piccolo distracting them, on preparing for the job they are going to Solitaire for. Apparently the island (which is actually a mountain) is sinking, and needs to be hollowed out. If you discount the dodgy science, this is another fun scene to watch, with Lucas and O'Neill taking the problem seriously, and the other two not. This is again the kind of thing I like to see, good character interaction that reinforces what we know about their personalities. Lucas and O'Neill both take their science very seriously, while the other two are not really that interested in science at all.

Sara arrives, but despite his earlier protests about not being a tour guide and not liking her music, Ortiz seems to take a shine to her and plays at being the perfect host, taking her to her quarters, making her welcome, and so on. He pretends to be a fan, which doesn't pay off as she is on to him at once, but it is well written, and well acted and works well. He says she can call him Miguel, or Mike, or Teez. Where did those last two come from? Neither is ever used during the whole two seasons he is with seaQuest as a nickname for him. Does no one aboard know him well enough to use his nicknames? I wouldn't have thought so. Weird.

There's more of the dodgy science, with Lucas and O'Neill studying the data from Solitaire and coming to the conclusion that the mountain/island is actually a gigantic and ancient pyramid. Ford, Brody and Piccolo are sceptical, but Bridger takes them seriously. Hang on a minute. If the plans to hollow out this mountain are so well established that seaQuest is on it's way to start the process, someone should have spotted this sooner, surely?

Sara is writing a new song in her quarters, when Ortiz pops his head around the door with a tray of food, since she has missed dinner (or mess, as he puts it, being all naval). He's going to leave her to it, but she asks him to stay while she practices. They have a nice little chat, and he has to admit that he's not really a fan. 'I'm a bit of a banger. You know, if your ears aren't bleeding, it isn't music.' It's nice character stuff, and a nice little exchange: all very casual and talking 'shop' but you can tell that they both like each other. Marco Sanchez keeps Ortiz' attraction to Sara very subtle, and the underplaying works really well given how over-the-top the story is about to become. Anyway, Sara offers to play for the crew, and Ortiz agrees to spread it around.

Henderson and Smith are in the women's changing room taking an ion shower (in separate cubicles, of course). Now these ion showers are an interesting idea. Of course, such a thing would obviously be very handy on a submarine where fresh water is going to be at a premium, but it strikes me that they are also useful for scenes like this – you can have two characters in the shower cubicles having a conversation, without the water noise getting in the way. Anyway, Henderson is really ripping into Sara, criticising everything about her, and Smith – without apparently being able to 'read' that there is anything seriously wrong – is puzzled because she thinks such bitchiness is out of character.

Sara gives a kind of concert for the crew, which is entertaining to see what they all think about it. Dagwood jiggles away out of rhythm; Brody is almost asleep; Ortiz, Ford and O'Neill all seem to enjoy it a lot – and from the comments, Ortiz isn't the only one to be attracted to her; Piccolo heckles, and Henderson walks out. Then Sara goes into a trance and starts spouting ancient Greek in a very deep voice, before collapsing.

I think there was another dodgy science bit here, with Lucas in his room, but I forget what it was about. He talks about the unexpected end of Sara's performance, which confused me because I didn't think he was there to see it.

In medbay, Smith is examining Sara, who protests that she is fine. Ortiz pops in to see her, and Smith seems surprised by the familiarity of their exchange; clearly she doesn't keep close tabs on the crew, or she would have spotted this friendship developing. Or has it been that quick? And despite all the talk of infatuation I've read in various places, his behaviour towards Sara is more flirtatious friendship than anything more serious.

Bridger and Ford discuss with O'Neill the translation of what Sara said, which was apparently something about Neptune. O'Neill seems very knowledgeable about Greek mythology, which sort of ties in with the earlier episode Lostland, but not quite. In that one, Ortiz was the mythology expert, whereas O'Neill didn't know quite so much. Here, there is no mention made at all of Ortiz' knowledge of mythology, while O'Neill is quite the expert. Anyway, Ford is deeply sceptical, but Bridger is worried. And, here O'Neill gets a great line, 'I'm Catholic. I believe in anything that makes me nervous'.

It is night, and Dagwood is mopping in the halls (does he never sleep?) when he sees a white horse galloping through the corridor to disappear through a door. The horse then appears in medbay, and wakes Sara. In their quarters, Piccolo and Lucas are in bed asleep, but Dagwood wakes them by banging on the door to tell them about the horse in a quite fantastic exchange – the dialogue and acting are excellent here, by all three. Scenes like this are the reason I love this show.

While they debate, over in her own quarters, Henderson is woken by the horse, and then suddenly finds snakes growing out of her head. She screams, and the horse turns to marble and disintegrates into sand. Lucas, Piccolo and Dagwood hear the scream and rush off – and there's a fantastic scene of the barefoot Lucas and Piccolo painfully picking their way barefoot across the metal grate flooring. They are bemused by Lonnie's description of what happened, but find the sand on the floor of her room proving her story.

In medbay, Sara is completely unattended and goes critical. There seem to be no medical staff on duty at all, and nobody notices, but luckily enough Ortiz is just passing (still in uniform – I can't work out the shift patterns in this episode at all) and calls for help.

Ortiz isn't the only one still on duty. It seems that Solitaire island is undergoing some pretty major seismic activity at the moment. O'Neill and Brody are on the bridge; O'Neill is in charge and Brody of all people seems to be managing communications and sensors, while Piccolo is at the helm, having apparently given up on sleep for the night. They really are short staffed. O'Neill seems to be having some trouble exerting his authority, since Piccolo is just naturally argumentative. It seems odd that O'Neill is in charge and giving Brody orders as Brody outranks him.

In medbay, Sara is still comatose and her vital signs are dangerously low. While Ortiz is accurately reading the medical equipment and worrying about her, Dr Smith is just standing there apparently not doing a thing – shouldn't she be treating her patient? Is she, or is she not, a medical doctor? Henderson is standing behind them, having apparently been taken there by the guys after her nightmare. Sara suddenly starts spouting off the ancient Greek again, and then her vital signs go back to normal. Dr Smith is tremendously vague, saying 'I think she was dead, and now she's not'. Very professional diagnosis I don't think – she's a doctor, shouldn't she know? Henderson insists she is glad that Sara is better, although Smith doesn't seem convinced, and Lonnie then insists that she merely had a nightmare and is fine. Smith asks Ortiz to walk Henderson back to her quarters, and he agrees easily enough, although his attention is still focused on Sara. Henderson is delighted by the idea, which draws a strange look from Smith. And despite his concern for Sara, Ortiz is all business, and heads off with Henderson like a true gentleman.

Lucas is analysing the sand found in Lonnie's quarters, with Ford and Bridger hovering over his shoulder. He discovers that it is marble and was quarried at Marathon over a thousand years ago. Bridger and Ford then head to the bridge, and contact the army base on the island to order an evacuation because of the seismic activity.

Walking Henderson back to her quarters, Ortiz is wonderfully gentlemanly towards her, in spite of her increasingly odd behaviour. She is blatantly coming on to him and trying to get him to say that she is prettier than Sara. Ortiz is clearly uncomfortable with this line of inquiry, not wanting to offend his crewmate, and tries to play it down. When they reach her quarters, Lonnie invites him in, but he refuses – only for her to try to kiss him, twice (lucky girl, getting to run her fingers through those curls!). He pulls away, telling her quite firmly he doesn't want to kiss her, and walks away.

Back on the bridge, the seaQuest is having trouble. The earthquake has unearthed an undersea doorway and sucks them in. The entire crew seems to have given up on sleep for the night and are all assembled on the bridge: Ortiz must have gone straight there from Lonnie's quarters just as Piccolo went straight there after taking Lonnie to medbay. They are sucked into a massive cavern, and discover a statue that Ortiz realises looks just like Sara, to which Dr Smith agrees. She, too, has gone to the bridge, hopefully leaving someone responsible in charge of her unstable patient. O'Neill translates the inscription to reveal that it is the tomb of Minerva, and gives them the edited highlights of the love-triangle between Neptune, Minerva and Medusa. Henderson is suddenly on the bridge as well, and apologises to Ortiz, who is unable to bear a grudge and comforts her.

Then an apparition of Neptune appears, angry with them for disturbing Minerva's tomb. The oddness just grows and grows. Nobody can work out what he wants, but then Sara arrives on the bridge, fully dressed and looking fully recovered. Do they have no security on this boat? How is it that a visitor to the boat can just wander onto the bridge during a crisis like this? Anyway, she reveals that Neptune wants her, and that is why she came to Solitaire. He thinks she is the reincarnation of Minerva, and that Henderson is Medusa, adding that this is why Henderson was jealous of Sara and Miguel – that part of her thought he was Neptune. Understandably enough, Ortiz protests at the ridiculousness of that.

It is all tremendously vague, and I couldn't work out if both girls were meant to be reincarnations, or if they were just possessed, and if Ortiz was also 'possessed' by Neptune, another reincarnation, or just caught in the middle, or what. Anyway, Sara believes that she has to go to Neptune, but Bridger suddenly has an idea. They have an amazingly bizarre battle with Neptune and succeed in torpedoing the tomb open, at which an apparition of Minerva – still looking uncannily like Sara – emerges. The ancient lovers being reunited, they forget all about the boat. SeaQuest manages to escape from the tomb just before it collapses.

Everything is suddenly all over and resolved safely. Sara gives another concert for the crew, and they all seem to enjoy it. They even manage casual dress. Ortiz and Henderson sit together, although she is still leaning into him a bit too much for comfort. She is now being generous towards Sara, and he is gracious to his friend, giving her a kiss on the cheek – prompting an amused Bridger to tell them to watch the show. Story ends.

Despite the hokey storyline (just check your disbelief at the door and jump on for the ride), I actually enjoy this one, on the whole. It actually uses Ortiz as a main focus, and so is pretty rare. It cements his easy-going personality as he interacts with Sara and other crewmembers. He is wonderfully gentlemanly toward Henderson, despite her behaviour to him when she is 'possessed', gently turning her advances down instead of taking advantage of her (okay, he does get a bit annoyed when she persists). And he looks fantastic. It's just a shame the storyline sucks so much; it could have been so much better than this. Even with this storyline it could have been better, if it made sense!

Sadly we see Lonnie as a tramp again, this time coming onto Ortiz, albeit with little success. Dr Smith still doesn't seem a very good doctor; clearly she was hired for her psychic powers rather than medical prowess. The shifts are very bizarre, with some people seeming to be on permanent duty, and others actually attempting to get some sleep. If some of these errors had been caught and corrected, it would have been a much better episode. However, even with so many flaws, it is still better than the previous offering, 'Alone' – mainly because the characterisation was so much better, and it was so humorous that it made up for its failings – there were some truly wonderful scenes in there. The opening exchange between Ford and Ortiz, and the three-way mid-night conversation with Dagwood, Piccolo and Lucas were so great as to make up for everything else.